Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
