You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
