you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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