i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
