My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
