Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I understand Curling. That high.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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