So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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