My nipple is on Facebook.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
