DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
