my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
