i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
