She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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