i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
