Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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