Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
