Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
