Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
50% drunk capacity currently
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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