But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
