it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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