life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Boobs are out for the taking
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
