somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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