i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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