I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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