sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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