I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
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