There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
