You made me cry and you don't even care
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
