YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
