I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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