The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
