i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
