Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
