we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
