Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
