it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
