Duck Duck Cougar?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
