Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
