Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
