Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
