I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
