DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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