I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
