love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
