Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
