3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
