I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
