I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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