I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
