I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
