so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
