Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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