And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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