He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
